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tell me your level so i can sink to or rise above it

Monday, November 1, 2004

11:27PM - only one is a wanderer; two together are always going somewhere.

i saw that qoute on the elevator tvs at work. you know the movie its from you win a bonus prize. googling for the answer doesn't count...then again how would i know if you did or didn't.

honestly, i'm in a creative slump. it seems all my ideas are like little sticks i keep building with. piece by piece in no particular form or congruant order. then my unstable building of sticks/ideas keep collapsing on itself cos it lacks linear thinking and planning. too many ideas but none never really followed through. aside from the creative stump, i've misplaced my red purse tonite. i imagine and hope its sitting at the library in our architecture building. cross your fingers.

1 rant -  exhale

Thursday, August 5, 2004

3:24PM - so they say

walking back from lunch i passed by maggino's italian subs. their poster on the window claims:

the best 10" to put in your mouth.

2 rants -  exhale

Friday, July 23, 2004

2:27PM - ...bla

..currently at work at the building across the civic opera center. more specifically friends, you would recognize it as that building you walk by from the metra ogglevie station- the building with the chia-pet-like bushes.

due to the the job, i've compiled a small list of books read over the summer that include

the acid house, irvine welsh
mice and men, john steinbeck
the new intellect, ayn rand
endless night

i tried finishing plato but gave up half way. now i am bookless, newspaperless, and magazineless. i think i've read every mag here twice. what to do...among other things how are all you people?

2 rants -  exhale

Sunday, July 11, 2004

9:29PM - ajdbckj

...accomplishments of the day...

...its 9:29pm and i've stayed longer at home than i had intended tying up menial tasks that i had estimated to take only two and a half hours.

thus, i have once again avoided my fellow quircky co-worker who is trying to "hang out" with me time and time again but it's at the point of borderline stalker qualities. for instance...

"hey A., i passed by your place. i was thinking of stopping by but i wasn't sure if you were home then"

"hey i passed by your place and buzzed your aparment number. does it work or were you not home"

then as i was walking to the washroom before i left to go home today.."hey are you going to be at your apartment i might stop by"...."uhm...maybe not till later tonite."

...creepy habit-yes. nice guy? sure, he's one of my favorite co-workers to talk to at todai cos he's fun. but i must say the line of friend and stalker is crossed when you invite yourself over constantly particularly when either party does not know each other that well aside from the work relationship. i think i recall saying we should hang out once but i think the other four times he invited himself. sheesh.

2 rants -  exhale

Sunday, July 4, 2004


i painted my toe nails pink. suddenly my confidence in my overall appearance increases an additional 30% and my confidence in wearing flip flops and bearing my toes to the world rockets to an amazing 99%. feet are the worst features/body part on a person in my oppinion but it's amazing what a little bit of nail polish can do to your views and confidence level.

5 rants -  exhale

Saturday, July 3, 2004

11:31AM - ..undiscovered things..

...during the weekdays i work for a messenger company. i'm not the bicyclist who wears the helmet and spandex shirt-i'm the person who runs it between floor levels of high rises. i work at three buildings that include the sears tower, 311 s wacker-the darker high rise across from the sears tower, and the ubs building-the building with the funny gelatin mold like bushes outside by the civic opera house. each firm floor is reminiscent of an alley mcbeal set. the sky lobby's are like an art exhibit with the views encompassed in each window as the art. its unlike that of the sears tower observatory deck where everything is tiny and unrecognizable dots and lights. for instance, the 66th floor sky lobby on two of the buildings over looks the top of one particular building that is topped off with a giant sculpture reminiscent of a person looking below to the rest of the city. its funny how on ground level we miss out on so much of whats to see and whats going on above us.

the city has so many undiscovered things like undiscovered neighborhoods that have great potential to become something more. unfortunately, we are all skeptical and never give such neighborhoods the time of day to really explore an area cos of our own judgments. i know i live on the north side in lincoln park but there are alot of things in the south that outweigh the perks of the northside. i don't care what anyone says but bronzeville and bridgeport are both growing neighborhoods with the potential of wicker park or even lincoln park.

-there is always parking on the south side whether there is a sox game, exhibit, or whatnot. the traffic is not as irritating and there are no six way intersections.

-despite everyone's claim of it being ghetto and unsafe it actually is safe-i've never been mugged, raped, etc-i do walk around soundly at nite but in any location shit happens everywhere. still, there is a newly built police headquarters, cop cars are everywhere and the cops on break are at all the major diners and restaurants.

-there does exhist good eats in the southside that are not an arm and a leg like the north, for instance pancho pistolies mexican food and freddies(for those of you in search of a true chicagoian accent, you'll find it here).

-north side beach is always crowded and busy when the beach is open and not closed like now due to proliferating bacteria in the water. the parking to the beach is impossible and is a cut in the wallet. on the south side there is also a beach there with free parking that is open until 11pm. it has one of the best views of the whole city from the south side, ideal for watching fireworks on those saturdays and wednesdays and it has a board walk that goes about 40 - 50ft into the lake waters so you can either stroll or fish there.

-living is cheap and affordable. the rented apartments in the areas normally rent off a whole flat(floor). the living area typically is lager and is more for your money unlike the overpricing of lincoln park.

-the people and community are a large mix of blue collar working class families that are caucasion, mexican and chinese.

these are just some perks of the south in contrast to the north.

3 rants -  exhale

Thursday, June 3, 2004


...lately this week i haven't been sleeping well. i'll lie in bed for hours and end up sleeping by two a.m. my french cousin said it's because it's a full moon. that the moon's power goes beyond the rise and fall of the tide of the oceans and lakes, but also effects the daily lives of people. Or maybe its also the fact that i've stayed at my mom's house this whole week, and i've been moving from room to room to accomodate my visiting relatives and my mom and her boyfriend's need for private space. whatever it is, i'm still up while the rest of my household is currently asleep at 12am...

Current mood: listless
1 rant -  exhale

Saturday, May 29, 2004


...how do you tell someone who's lived longer than you and experienced more than you to not look back at life with regret...and to not measure your life purely based on failure and successes.cos the proper phrases seem to fall apart before i can pronounce them, and my sincere intentions to make things better don't move the situation.

4 rants -  exhale

Wednesday, May 5, 2004

9:26AM - ...i wish carried a camra with me everywhere sometimes..

...lately this week, i've seen some sights that are still fresh in my mind. monday on the way to school i saw a black man waiting for a bus in a suit that was all red from the top of his fedora hat down to his shoes. it reminded me of those get ups comdedians on BET would wear. then he had a white fur coat draped over his shoulders a la pimp style...as i passed him it made me think of r. kelly-i heard he moved from the southside and now lives on the north.

..weird sight that will probably last a week or so is my thumb. its shaped on the funny side due to hours of hand sanding small components. in the process i have managed to reduce the round curve of the side to a flat slant...

..horrific site of the week goes to the graduate student in the model shop. he proved that experience does not come with age. i saw the kid from the corner of my eye swiping my ruler as i was adjusting the table saw. i followed him and was about to give him some attitude for the sticky fingers when i soon realized the nervous look of the fellow and his elevated hand wrapped in wads of guaze. i'm glad i didn't see what actually happened but the out come seemed to be four cut fingers from pointer to pinky. they were still intact but they didn't look as rigid as it normally should. he's alright now from what i see...he's all bandaged up and frustrated it seems that he cannot finish making his thesis project. still, every time i see him i cringe at the memory.

2 rants -  exhale

Sunday, April 25, 2004

10:24PM - ....there's no other invasion quite like the asian sensation...

...i just don't get the asian race. a filipino lady yelled at me at work today and demanded to see my manager. i told her a twenty minute wait and we close and stop serving food at 2:30-i told her this at about 1:40. what happens? she disappears and comes back at 2:30 with her party of 16 expecting we had a table ready. i appologize for the misunderstanding...she snaps and says its not a misunderstanding "i understand english perfectly well. where's your manager?" blah blah blah...what does she say

"she said(pointing at me) that we should come back at 2:30. we came all the way from chicago."

manager"i'm sorry, our hostess was trying to tell you we close at 2:30. you can come back at 5:00 for dinner"

"we're not going to wait another four hours. we're not coming back and waiting til 6:00. we came all the way from the city"

manager"our dinner is at 5:00 not 6:00."

"we're not coming back at 6:00. you guys have a bad receptionist.(storms out with her caravan of asians)"

first of all....what do i think of this....vomit vomit vomit and piss off.
second of all...."i know english" my foot. she called me a receptionist.
third...i find that most asian people have a hearing problem. you can reitterate the same thing over and over again and they will still never hear you right. its even worse on the phone since it will take you ten minutes for a conversation that should actually only take two minutes but since they ask you the question another twenty times it takes you ten minutes.
fourth...i fear old age for this reason. i don't want to be another annoying old asian lady requesting to repeat the same thing over and over and never really go through. thus...perhaps i should invest in some vitamins early on in the game.

Current mood: angry
1 rant -  exhale

1:10AM - ...midgets, blind people...and the amish make me stare....

"...speaking of watching people. i once walked into a fire hydrant cos i was watching a blind man walking in the city"

..one of the few co-workers i enjoy talking to told me this and the act is so stupid it makes me smile. are we all not guilty of watching the blind shuffle their way through life? i definitely am guilty. the blind are rare to see cos most would have loving friends, families or guid dogs to help them out. it's the independent ones that are alone that captivate your eye. i remember watching nervously once a blind guy walking off of belmont. he basicly hit every person wihin his three feet of space with his walking stick as he scanned the walk way left-right. then again it's stupid for anyone to be in his space seeing he is blind. i waited though for him to make a bad move, get hit by a car, walk into a wall but he didn't. in fact he crossed belmont at the clark intersection all by himself without those chirping light signals like at school. mind bogglin.

1 rant -  exhale

Monday, March 15, 2004

12:35AM - ...beat went on and i trailed behind it when...

...the extravaganza i hope was fun for all in one way or another. the following day i was left with various messages on my dry erase board, polaroids of the nite scattered here and there, dirty floors and a few bottles of alcohal left. the memory of the nite itself is just bits and pieces. bits not because i can't remember but points are just enstilled in my memory like the polaroids. i might add, this party has created a new interest of dancing for me. please, lets do it again...

among other things left in all vagueness....

he is battling with his image
she is taking on his views, and finding smiles in small pills.
he is on the phone with her. he's walked away from me.
i am in anticipation of not knowing what this might mean...to me and what she is..

Current mood: midway-insecure-jealous
3 rants -  exhale

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

8:33PM - ..fat straws make great launching devices for...

...one of the best things i saw today was a friend get hit spitball style by a tappioca ball from a joy yee's bubble tea drink. we all had a good chuckle as he walked away not noticing it stuck to his back. good times good times.

1 rant -  exhale

Tuesday, March 9, 2004


..the computer lab in this building is bogus in a few ways. its bologney its open only from 10am-9pm. also, its annoying to be told to lower the music on your headphones while the computer worker won't lower the volume of his phone with annoying rings.

...i've got a pounding headache. i'm excited about the fun on friday but worried if the space is ample.

1 rant -  exhale

Monday, February 23, 2004


...currently i'm situated at the seigal hall computer lab. just got finished with my cadd (computer aided drafted design) assignment due tomorrow. so now i sit here typing shamelessly on this keyboard with keys that have a loud and clacking bounce with each letter i type. or maybe its just me that types too loud and too fast...or it's just the empty room that amplifies it more...

among other things, i'm thinking of landing a new job at a bakery off of belmont called Bittersweet. the thought of working in a bakery delights me.

3 rants -  exhale